Archaeologist
by ZIPZEE
Summary: Basically no one want to be an Archaeologist. And Remmie will never be a stuntman. /Also posted on Ao3/


"It said!" Stephan exclaimed dramatically to the rest of the class, save Alfie who had disappeared somewhere (probably to stalk Rosie ) and Grayson who said he was going to beat up some year sevens. "That I would be an archaeologist! Urgh, can you imagine all the dirt and germs!" He moved his hand, flapping in his face as if to calm him down. Or maybe to actually calm himself down, you could never be one hundred percent sure with Stephan.

"I got an archaeologist too babes" Chantelle said putting her arm around Stephan's shoulder and massaging it slightly "Doesn't mean anything"

"Strictly speaking" Jing said "Archaeology isn't all germs and dirt. Germs for on thing being everywhere. But this computer program said I would be an archaeologist too, it's obviously a complete piece of junk but then when is anything of Fraser's not a piece of junk"

"Ohhh" Stephan called, his distress at being told he would be an archaeologist momentarily forgotten in exchange for Jing's dark remark "True! Hashtag SorryNotSorry!"

"So everyone got archaeologist yeah?" Cleo asked, her voice dull and void of any emotion save the bored attitude that seemed to cling to her nonstop "There was nothing else?"

"I got a Stuntman" Rem Dogg spoke gloomily, his eyes rolling to the ceiling "An' then a male escort"

Chantelle wasn't the only one who winced. Although he would never admit it, his 'limited mobility' as the hospital services called it or 'shitty legs' as Rem Dogg himself called it affected him quite deeply. And he got more offended by disability remarks then Mitchell did with gypsy remarks or Cleo with not-even-racist comments.

"Proves it's a piece of shit then" Cleo said, Chantelle nodding her head in agreement, her gold loop earrings dangling against her neck.

"Yeah" Joe agreed softly, not to sure of what to say but understanding how it felt to be singled out. Though, he supposed, being fat was curable and having paralyzed legs wasn't.

The door of the class opened and with a loud groan in walked Alfie, pulling his band over his shoulder and slamming it on the desk. "How is everyone? Did you get you're future job information stuff"

"Yes" Stephan said, his distress having fully returned "And it said we would be archaeologists"

"What, all of you?" Alfie asked in surprise

"I'm meant to be a stunt man" Rem said, waving his hand in the air

"Ah" came Alfie's, oh-so-eloquent reply "Well that's not going to happen"  
Remmie scowled in response.

"Uh, I'm never going to get anywhere in life if some computer shit thinks I'm gonna be an archaeologist!" Chantelle moaned, slumping her head onto the desk, buried in her arms

"That's not true" Alfie said "You'll be a qualified beautician, no matter what that computer-program….thing says. You Stephan will be a dancer, uh Cleo-"

"Oh" Cleo snapped "You think I'm gonna work at KFC? Ya gonna send me a Bargain bucket for a leavers gift? Or how about a security guard? Black people are always security guards right?"

"No" Alfie squeaked, shifting his chair back slightly "Uh. you'll be doing whatever you want, probably in prison with Rem Dogg, uh Jing will be doing whatever sciencey medical thing-"

"An author" Jing responded, sitting up straight "I shall not bow to expectations when expectations clearly frame me"

"Lovely quote" Alfie said nodding "Uh, Shakespeare was it?"  
Jing rolled her eyes.  
"Shakespeare said age didn't matter when it came to love" Chantelle said, leaving across her desk and batting her eyelids at Alfie. Alfie gulped "I'm pretty sure that was Michelangelo or some other hippie" he said  
"Same rules apply" Chantelle said with a wink

"But sir" Stephan said "We're all going to fail our GCSE's sooo there really is no point in this"  
"Yeah" Joe said nodding, emerging from whatever train of thought had held him until this point (Alison was really actually quite pretty, he had decided just a moment ago. But that didn't mean he was thinking of her, no way…)

"Oh you don't know that" Alfie began half-hardheartedly said then stopped when he saw his forms glares. "Well okay maybe you do, but hey look on the bright side, you need exams to be an archaeologist"

"Oh bugger!" Andre slammed his head on the desk.

Also posted on Ao3. Your welcome


End file.
